22 June 2016

Laying it Out.

Crap's about to get really real in the post guys, you've been warned.

I feel like I've forgotten how to pray, how to connect with God. My mind understands how to do it, my heart seems to be under lock and key from Him which I know seems silly due to the fact that He's all knowing and He already knows my heart backwards and forwards, inside and out.  Emily from Ember Grey wrote a really great post that I just read today and it helped some, but I don't know how to get away from the feeling of being a Christian fraud to just knowing He loves me no matter what.  If you have any prayers you'd want to spare I'd appreciate it. Any advice as well would be welcome.

My work momma's been on my mind these last few days. She hasn't been at work since Friday, she was off Saturday but has called in since Sunday, I'm getting worried about her, it's not like her to be gone this long and I miss her. I don't want to harass her to make sure she's okay, but I don't want her thinking I'm ignoring her either, just wanting her to rest and be better.

I feel like lately, instead of being so quick to share what's on my mind in real life, I've become even more of an introvert even at work, where if I have something earth shattering to share, I'll do it, but I keep a lot more in, I think that's because my trust in certain people completely shattered a few weeks ago & I don't feel safe sharing certain things with certain people anymore. I'll be a completely open book, but you have to be willing to open me up and I have to have a good deal of trust built up with you.

I've been on a reading kick lately, Colleen Hoover's books have been my jam. I have every book she's written pretty sure on my Kindle app now and I'm just going through them like a camel drinks water.

So I was having a day a week or so ago, you know the kind of day I'm talking about, the one where it's like I really should need to have a license to adult.  Well I texted Jayme as well as another one of my friends and said y'know there are some days where I feel like I totally have this adulting thing down and then there are other days where I feel like I'm a giraffe just learning how to use it's legs.  So now whenever I'm having one of those days, my friend who also happens to work with me asks if I'm having a giraffe day. My life is never dull that's for sure.

I think I'm going to write more of these kinds of posts, I like just brain dumping. It's very therapeutic. Also not even sorry that there's no pictures in this post. I've been posting pictures from my Moondance weekend on my instagram @meghanannablogs #shamelessplug

Meghan out.

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