19 March 2012

Marriage.

Forewarning, this might be a touchy subject, and I might lose a few followers, but I believe this needs to be said, this is not directed at ANY particular blogger or any particular person, just society as a whole!  

People have been driving me nuts lately with complaining about their marriage and divorce and how they don't like that their hubby wants to spend time with not only them, but with their kiddos too.  Um newsflash people, when you have kids or you marry someone who has kids already, you are going to have to wait for it COMPROMISE *shocker*
Yes, you spend time with them all day, but that is YOUR job, not saying that it defines you, but it is YOUR choice to do so, and your hubby does not get that luxury of spending time with the kids, so yes, unfortunately, you will have to spend more time with them when your hubby does when he gets home.    Most children have a bedtime that is not the same as their parents, spend the time after they go to bed together. It really isn't that hard of a concept to grasp, at least not for me.
& if you didn't want to work around kids, you knew that your husband/boyfriend/what have you had kids before you ever talked marriage.
Which is an a good segue for my next vent.
Marriage.
Marriage is meant to be FOREVER.
Unfortunately our society has seemed to have forgotten this.
When you say I do, it DOES NOT mean I do until you get bored or until it gets hard or until your husband doesn't want it anymore, you FIGHT for what you want and what you deserve.  & you don't complain about how you have to deal with all the bills and providing for your child, when you went into it setting yourself up for failure.  Vows are meant to be forever people!  In sickness and in health for richer and for poorer!
I posted this status a few days ago, because yes, I have been frustrated about this for the last week or two:
 
I wish people would take their wedding vows seriously, and to just decide to get a divorce because they didn't feel like being married anymore? Than why do you get married in the first place? If & when I get married, I will make sure I love the person and they love me back and divorce will NOT be a word in our relationship ever! #lessonslearned

& before you go saying I don't have children and am not married or been divorced or any of that shiz, let me remind you, MY parents are divorced and it's left scars, and I just hate to have to see kids go through it like I did just because their parents didn't feel like being married or got bored.

& yes, I believe there are circumstances where divorce is inevitable.  Without divorce, I would not have:
-2 of my best friends(Lynn & Mady)
-my best friend(V) wouldn't have her awesomesauce hubby and adorable kidlet and kidlet to be

When I see something that is supposed to be cherished and be a vow that is taken to the grave being stomped on like this, it not only makes me mad, it makes me sad, because this was not what God had in mind when he created marriage. 

& yes, I believe if you work at something that you WANT and that you DESIRE, I believe you can re-fall in love with your husband/fiance.  I have seen it happen not once but TWICE with two of my best friends, one it was her hubby, and second it was her fiance.  & they both almost threw in the towel, and they are now both more in love than they have ever been, at least for what I've been able to see, and they are more than welcome to disagree with me on this, but I'm pretty sure I am correct. 

& don't tell me marriages don't last anymore, I call BS on that one right there!  My grandma and grandpa G were married 48 years before my grandpa passed away, and let me tell you, my grandpa could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he loved my grandma unconditionally, and she loved him the same.  My grandma and grandpa B have been married 51 years, and they still love each other like crazy.  & my grandma and grandpa H have been married 44 years, and yes, they are madly in love with one another, but their past also hasn't been sunshine and rainbows the whole time either, now my Grandpa treats my grandma like the queen she is, and has taught me what to look for when I'm looking for a husband. He opens the door for her EVERYWHERE, and she calls him hot and sexy, it's awkward lil bit, but so cute in the same way.    My dad and stepmom have been married almost 11 years--holy cow batman how did that happen? & Lynn mom has taught me that love is not a feeling, but a choice, you have to choose each day(and sometimes with her and my dad she jokes its hour to hour and minute to minute), and I know there are times where Lynn Mom will just ignore my dad because she is just so ticked at him, but divorce has NEVER been a part of their dictionary and will never be.
You just can tell my parents love each other, fun story to lighten the mood, the other day on the way to work, there is a train track that runs by our house, and we were stopped at it, and Lynn Mom was right behind us, so my Dad puts the car in park, runs back to her car and kisses her.  Now that is the kind of thing that forever marriages are made of.  He is always taking her in his arms and -eww- squeezing her butt and starts kissing her, and it just makes this girl so happy that she has parents that are so unconditionally in love. 

Kudos to everyone who read all the way through this and didn't want to throw something at me.  Love you all.

-stepping off of my soapbox now-

10 comments:

  1. I am with you on this 100% I do believe that when you marry someone it should be forever, not until you are bored or just don't feel like it, BUT I do believe that there are a few times when Divorce is a good thing, if one spouse is mentally or physically (or both) abuseing the other or godforbid the kids, I think then you should Get out, or in the case of a friend of mine, she was married all of 6 hours before her husband cheated on her with someone else, she tried to make it work for a year, but he kept sleeping around until he knocked up one of his female "friends" and then she divorced him. I saw the anguish she went through trying to make it work. But other than those two instances I think that marriage is Forever, and when you make those vows you shouldn't break them. I plan on getting married eventually and I know that seeing how I feel, I will do EVERYTHING in my power to make my marriage and relationship last as long as my grandparents and great grandparents

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  2. I totally agree. It's too easy to get divorced these days, and people take marriage for granted. It's sad.

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  3. So funny, I have a post I've been working on about marriage to post sometime soon and a lot of these points are in it! This is so true, and so sad at the same time. I hate that so many people get divorced...it scares me a little that I either won't find someone ever, or when I do maybe he won't be in it for the long haul?? I dunno, it's just sad to see what marriage means to a lot of people lately.

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  4. This is so true! I agree with you, and I notice it a lot...especially with younger people!

    xoxo Meghan
    (can you email me? i have a few questions!:D )

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  5. Good post. So many people seem to throw in the towel so easily. As a mom of two young kids, I agree it is hard, but you must make your marriage a priority. I'm blessed with an amazing husband who adores me and our children, and wants to be with us and help out. We both work and equally share responsibilities and child raising. And we are even more in love than when we got married 6 years ago. Thanks for the reminder that love is worth fighting for! :)

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  6. You're a wise girl miss Meghan. I am divorced, not something I would have chosen for myself. But the lessons I have learned from it and about myself have been priceless. If God should ever see fit to bless me with another husband, you can bet on it that things will be vastly different than my first go round.

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  7. I just came across your blog and WOWZA I am already in love with it! I think as a whole, many people have forgotten the true concept of family...while I believe some divorce is inevitable, I also believe A LOT more should go INTO being engaged and being able to get married before you make that rock solid commitment. Same with having kids...you don't needed to do a single thing to prove you are capable of raising a child and they are the most precious forms of life!! Look how hard it is to adopt!! Why doesn't more go into screening parents prior to childbirth??

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  8. AMEN! I love this post! I am married (3 years) and my hubby and I work hard to create a loving partnership every single day. Sure, it isn't always easy, but that's what we signed up for, and we love each other no matter what!

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  9. I'm a believer that marriage is forever but, sometimes, circumstances are such that that's just not possible any longer, unfortunately.

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